Why?
And I have, well . . . very mixed emotion.
Did I mention that already?!
Homeschooling has {will} be an adventure for us. It started out great and then life just kind of got in the way. Brock and myself were dealing with the unknowns of our future and then jumped right into this new stage of life at White Stone & to be honest, I just really fell off the homeschooling "band wagon." My days became more about packing and planning than teaching & disciplining - hence the reason why the girls behavior changed. School was sporadic & a nuisance. I had much bigger things going on and I slipped. I lost interest. It was {is} totally unfair to my girls. They are bright. Very bright girls. They also really appreciate routine and regularity and I failed them miserably. So when we found out where we would be living once we moved, I looked up the school they were zoned for. Great ratings. A top in the county. Lots of kids from our church go there. Even some of the teachers.
Hmmm??!! Maybe we should send them? And so our conversation & prayers began.
Brock {being the incredibly wise man that he is} sat on it for a while and then came back to me in agreement.
So, this coming school year, they'll be in school.
Real school. First grade and I'm very excited for them.
They are very excited. They talk about it all the time. They will love school.
But... I'm very sad. And disappointed in myself.
I feel that I've failed my girls. That I somehow don't love them enough to homeschool them. I read so many other homeschool blogs {which I have resolved to just stop reading right now because all they do is make me second guess myself!} by moms who seem to have it all together . . . and I never did when it came to their schooling {of course, having a curriculum would have help! a lot!} but I think my biggest upset is that fact that they will be own their own. It breaks my heart to think that they will be away, under someone else's watch several hours a day - I don't even want to think about the first time someone is mean to them. Or calls them a name.
But, like all things in life . . . this is only a season.
I will homeschool again. I will still homeschool Deacon for Kindergarten.
It's like the old saying goes . . "It takes a village . . . " and right now, I'm needing help from the 'village.' The girls need to learn and be under another authority other than Brock and myself right now. I don't know how, but I know this is what they need right now. They need routine & consistency: challenged & taught. And I am at peace with that being from a teacher other than myself . . . right now.
So, if you will, join us in praying for a fulfilling school year for the girls. A year of great learning & nurturing. A year of protection from harmful antics or ugly words. And for us to have the wisdom to walk them through this journey.
