sweet reminders . . .

It began during the night. Someone woke with a "tummy ache" but we knew the real reason for this 3am visit . . . her Daddy was leaving for Haiti in the morning and she was sad. She woke that morning for school with tears in her eyes, " I miss Daddy. . . . I know, me too Soph, but he'll be home soon and the people in Haiti need to hear about Jesus too. Guess what we get to do after school?" {Hoping my words would distract her from her sadness & make for an easy transition to school} "What??!!!", she ask. "We get to pick Pop & YaYa up at the airport! They're flying back in from their vacation in NYC! . . . Cool!" She replies, and I take a deep breath because I think I've saved the morning. Pat on back, Bethany!

The airport was fun & busy - Kayla had made the kids signs to hold {like they were Dad & Mom's taxi pick up - it was hilarious!} I could kick myself that I didn't get a picture of them holding their "Pop and Yaya Taylor" signs. They were all quite the spectacle at the gate. Lots of hugs & squeals were passed around, made a stop at the baggage claim, a walk through the parking garage {in which my children, I swear, always attempt to get hit by a car} and we were on our way.

We rode in silence for a few minutes, then I heard Ella's voice from the back seat . . .

"Mom, is Mildred {their great Aunt} in heaven?  . . . Yes . . . . So, does that mean we'll get to see her again one day? . . .  Yes and Mamaw Dorothy . . . . Really?? We'll actually get to meet our Mamaw Dorothy? and talk to her and stuff??!!! {Mind blown at this point in time}   . . . Yes . . . How do you get to heaven, Mom?  . . . Well, Ella, the bible says that if you believe Jesus was who he said he was, you believe he died for your sins and that you will try your hardest to live your life for him & following his commands, then when you die, you spend forever in heaven with him" . . . . Sophie chimes in at this point, "Wait a minute, we get to talk to Jesus and touch him??" {mind totally & completely blown at this point}

Just when I think this conversation couldn't get any better, the next one takes place. . . .

"Mom, how do know if Jesus is in your heart?  . . . There will come a time when you'll know that he is calling you. For me, I was sitting at church one day, hearing a lot of what we're talking about now - my heart began to beat really fast & I felt like I wanted to cry because I knew that Jesus had done all of this for me & that he loved me more than anyone - I knew that he was asking me to follow him that day - I knew that he was asking me if he could 'come into my heart' . . . . But how did you know, Mom . . . . I just knew girls, it's a feeling that you will just know. And I've been praying a lot for you to have that feeling - have you had that feeling yet?  . . . . No, but I do believe in Jesus but I have felt my heart beating fast in gym class, but I don't think that was Jesus :) . . . Well, one day soon, you'll have that feeling - come to me & Daddy and we'll pray. . . . . and then after that, we get to get 'babitized'!!

That conversation is one of the sweetest, most precious moments I've ever had with my children. {Because Deacon was chiming in too!} And I felt the voice of God say to me in that very moment, Bethany, you don't have to go to Haiti to tell people about me. In fact, your most important "Gospel sharing moments" will happen in this van & inside the walls of your home. 


That Tuesday afternoon was a much needed, ordained moment for me. I feel so often that I fail my children in so many ways. That I will mess them up or hinder them from God's calling on their life. It was solid reminder that day that their hearts are in his hands. When he's ready, he'll call. I'm holding to that promise all the while praying with all my might, that the One who is mighty to save will do just that for my three little ones & that they run their hardest after Him.

Here is our King. Here is our Love. Here is our God who's come to bring us back to him. 

He is the one. He is Jesus.

lining up today:

one tooth less . . .

Ella won. She was the first. 

How cute is this smile??!!

and since we don't "do" the Tooth Fairy or Santa or the Easter Bunny silliness, she got these instead of a dollar. 

Personally, I think it's hands down a better deal.

It's going to take some getting use too - that one tooth less smile. I can't imagine what they'll look like when they're missing a bunch! I still feel like I'm the young, cool mom to babies/toddlers when in fact, I'm a mom whose kids are old enough to loose teeth! When did this happen?!

settling in . . .

Well . . . almost.
I'm starting to feel quite at home here in our new house. We've been here right at two weeks & I only have one box left to unpack. {and it's the box with all the dvd's that I'm wondering why even made the move in the first place??!!} And the once empty, big house now feels just like home - and this has been very good for our family.
Familiarity.
It's been, by far for me, the biggest adjustment with our move and while I know that I was raised here in Tennessee, it hasn't been my home in eight years. That's a long time. Things & places here are not quite ours yet. And we all are dealing with the somewhat sadness of knowing that the places we left will never quite be ours again. Deacon is still to young to really care or understand our move but the girls have had some issues. Sophie especially. She is a lot like me - she attaches to things tightly & she has had some bouts of frustration & sadness but doesn't really know how to tell us what she's feeling or what she needs . . . . which is probably, in it's basic form . . . familiarity.
Our first few weeks here were like a big vacation for them but now, Brock is busy with a new job, I'm busy with unpacking & getting our house is order while mixing in the fact that we are learning to do life with a whole new group of people right in the midst of the craziness that is summer - and until I sat down tonight to relax a bit, it had never hit me that I have yet to take the time to really talk with  my girls about how they are feeling. Are there things that they would like for us to do for them? In my Mommy mind, they are still babes who should just go with the flow that is our simple crazy life, but in reality, they are almost seven. They are little women. Little women full of emotions, feeling and insight and I have been very insensitive to that. When things go off the rail in my life, I turn to my Father. He is the one I have learned to trust - and in Sophie & Ella's little minds, Brock & I are the ones they have learned to trust, so now, in these hard, sad and uneasy times for them, I will be there for them. Ready to listen. Ready to offer advice. Ready to offer comfort with my words and my actions . . . because that is how my Father would 'parent' me.  God help me to mother that way that you father.

.   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .   .

Well, that post went in the total opposite direction that I had intended for it too. I was gonna tell you all about my 30th birthday and how it really wasn't that bad and how much we love our new church family and our house & how much fun I've had & will have decorating . . . but so it goes sometimes, I'll save it for another day . . . and this blog is, after all, somewhat journaling for me. It's therapeutic. And most of the time, I teach myself more through the words than anyone else.


So, I'll just leave you with a few random pictures from the week. {aka what the phones sees}










{yes, I realize it looks like Brock is flipping the camera off but he's actually holding up three fingers . . . you know for 30!}

awesomest. mom. ever.

That's my title today.
Why? You may ask.
Because, I spent all morning & afternoon turning this $2.19 Goodwill toy . . .

into . . .

The Mystery Machine!

And that is why I have been named {if only for the day}and I quote: "The awesomest Mom ever!!"

letting go . . .

I have to let go. 

I'm holding on way too tight. 

Way to tight to my children. 

I worry {all the time} that my mistakes in raising them will ruin the rest of their lives. It's a constant that I think we all deal with.
And then the other night I realized that I am trying {with everything I've got} to claim & rely on Jesus for and in every aspect of my life - why would I not do the same for my children? I was forgetting that His grace, which is sufficient in every thing, is very much capable of repairing where I fail as a parent. 

Instead of fretting over their futures . . . 

Who they will be. What they will do. The mistakes they will make. The choices they will choose . . .  Instead of carrying that weight on my shoulders, I have finally realized, that I have to let it go. 

I have to let it go & pray. 

Pray. With all that is in me, that the all consuming Spirit of God will take hold of them. 

That His voice will both lead and convict them. 

That they will realize His love for them - a love that looks past the mistakes they might make into the good intentions of their hearts.

That they'll realize they have a Father that wants nothing but what is best for them.

These are truths I so desire for them.    

fly lady, meet my rugrats . . .

This morning, I'm doing a little spring cleaning! {and yes, I actually enjoy it enough to put a ! at the end of that sentence} But the harsh reality, as a mom, is that while I'm hard at work doing the . . .

My rugrats are busy doing . . . .

Oh well. So it goes.

{ You can find the Fly Lady's Shiny sink trick here  : Your welcome ;) }