Brock's new job at our church started in July of 2003 but his insurance didn't kick in until January 2004, lucky for us, I had a few extra months of birth control pills, so we thought we'd be fine. In early January, I had called to set up an appointment with a doctor in our new town, but they were booked for several months, so I thought to myself, it would be okay to wait a few more months & try to reschedule then. Then the end of February rolled around . . . . and I began to feel weird. I've always believed that I have an undiagnosed condition which requires me to need more sleep than the average person, but I was extremely fatigued all.the.time. Beyond my normal. And then certain body parts began to hurt . . really bad. I tried to ignore it for a few weeks until one night, my curiosity got the best of me, and I googled pregnancy symptoms - just to check, because surely I wasn't pregnant?? We weren't ready to have kids. We had lots of plans. Good plans. Plans that didn't include children. I mean sure, we wanted kids, eventually . . . but now?? Just 18 months into our marriage, 7 months into a new job & town {state, for that matter} Now? My readings only alluded to the fact that I was indeed pregnant, so on the way home from church that night, we bought 2 pregnancy test & drove home to our tiny little apartment - mostly in silence. I went in the bathroom, alone, did what I had to do & before I could even get my clothes situated back, two bright pink lines appeared. The conversation in my head went something like this . . 'The box says it should take up to 3 minutes, so of course, that one had to be defective, right?! Yeah, let's try the other one, it should work right. . . . ' Round 2. Same thing. Two bright pink lines appeared faster than I could flush. At this point, I don't remember much. I think I went into shock. I have always wanted children, but in that moment, I was completely and totally numb. I {we} were not ready for this.
I was already crying when I walked out to Brock- he spent the next few minutes looking at the test & reading over the box again . . .but there was no denying it. On March 10, 2004 we found out that we were going to be parents - whether we were ready or not.
We had our first doctor's appointment on March 26. All test & blood work were normal- we even got to have an ultrasound . . . and there it was. That moment we needed. The moment when we saw our 'baby.' It was a moment that I'll never forget - because in that moment, I wasn't worried or scared . . . I was humbled and happy. God had chosen to let us be parents and I was grateful. The 'baby' was measuring at 8 weeks gestation & our due date was set for November 11th. We left & went to lunch and marveled at our little blurry, black & white photo of our little bean. Such a cute little bean. After that point, when the reality of it all began to sink in, we weren't as scared anymore. Sure, there were still moments when we wondered how we would make it . . . but we knew we'd be fine. We even began early on talking about names and nursery decor and strollers. At the end of May {14 weeks}, Brock's brother was graduating high school, so we made the trip back home for a long weekend and planned an appointment with Janine, {family friend} who was an ultrasound tech - she was going to do an ultrasound for us so my Mom 'could see the baby . . . '
Little did we know how that afternoon would, once again, change our lives . . . .
