more of my ramblings. . . .

I am very unsettled right now. Not really in a bad way, just in a "I don't know what to do about it way?" I feel as though our family is at a crossroad. There are several large issues at hand & I'm very confused as to what to do. Several months back, Brock & I both felt a strong urge for us to home school our kids. We were excited, eager & curious about the whole idea. But in recent months, S & E's behavior has been very trying (like I don't even what to be around you trying!), they have requested to go to school & now, we're at a loss as to what to do about it all! And then there's the money issue. Who doesn't have a money issue, huh? If we do home school, that means no income on my end & well, to put it reasonable, we are very unstable in the $ area. Don't get me wrong, I am definitely not a "we should have money saved or plan for the future" kind of person. I believe the call of following Christ trumps earthly comfort & human planning - I just want to be able to keep the power on & make sure my kids have shoes to wear! I also wonder why it is that I read so many blogs of families (w/ more kids than us, I might add!) who don't seem to stress out about it. How do they do it? As a ministry family, I feel we should be an example of a reliance on God providing. I claim that he provides w/ my lips but my doubt comes from my heart. God, please change my heart. Let your Spirit fall on us, reminding us that you always provide. Remind us that you have called our family, you have set us apart. And if you are for us, who can be against us?